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bad day

2002-11-14 - 1:21 a.m.

Oops, just lost half an entry by pushing the wrong button.

Yesterday was not a good day. I had a fitful night of sleep, partly because I knew I'd have to wake up early. So I had a hard time dragging myself out of bed, but finally managed to get up, shower, and get to the health center for 8:45, only to learn that my appointment wasn't till 9:45. D'oh!

Afterwards, I had to do a blood test. So I figure, fine, how bad can it be. Tthe lab tech filled up a vial and sent me on my way. It was a little painful, sure, but no biggie... As I was in line to pay for the procedure, I started to feel a bit weak, though. By the time I got up to pay, I had to support myself on the counter, and before I could make correct change, I had to sit down to avoid fainting.

Of course, this caused the cashier to call someone over from urgent care (with a wheel chair, no less). I was wheeled over, and after many questions and some confusion (apparently, I told the nurse I was diabetic when I was half-conscious), I was put into an exam room to lie down. For over an hour. When a doctor (real doctor, even, not an NP) finally came to see me, I was feeling much better. She took some vitals and then explained that it was probably a reaction to having blood taken. Well, I didn't need an hour and a half to find that out. Last time this happened, they just gave me some cookies, apple juice, and let me sit for five minutes.

I didn't spend much time in the office -- I was still feeling a little off from the near-fainting and not having enough sleep. And besides, I was hoping to pick up my digicam from UPS. Now, I could insert a long rant here about my experiences there, but suffice to say that they managed to be maximally annoying, and now I won't get my package until Friday.

What's interesting is just how upset thiss made me. Perhaps it's because the lady at the counter was kind of rude to me, perhaps it's just that I was tired, or whatnot, but I was fuming when I left there. I had called my girlfriend to complain, and she said later that night that I sounded scary, too much like her. And it was scary -- as I was riding away from the UPS office, I impulsively twisted hard on the throttle. I noticed the speedo passing 55mph while I was still leaned into my first turn, and finally caught myself. I forced myself to concentrate on riding in a sane fashion the rest of the way home, and I made it back safe... but still angry.

It reminded me of how I used to feel as a little kid, just angry at being, I don't know, powerless, I guess. Later that same day, I came to accept that there was really nothing worth getting that upset about, and that it was only hurting me. Yet, when I went to bed, my anger returned, and I spent a while evilly plotting the demise of UPS. When I was younger, I'd go into these fits. One time I told off my teacher, promising to get her fired. Sometime around 12, I stopped doing this. So it was kind of disturbing to notice that I could still lose control of my emotions that way.

Now reading: Stupid White Men by Michael Moore.

Now listening to: Immaculate Collection, Madonna.